quotes tagged with 'humor'

"I think everybody wants to be funny...at some time or another."

Author: Jonathan Winters, Source: 60 Minutes Interview, 1986Saved by bhquoty in humor 5 years ago[save this] [permalink]

Wounded come before personal chafing.

Author: Colonel Sherman T. Potter, Source: M*A*S*HSaved by tabe218 in humor mash 7 years ago[save this] [permalink]

"Are you getting as old me where you open up the paper and the first section you go to is the obituaries, so you can make sure you're not listed there?"

Author: Random security guard in Starbucks, Source: UknownSaved by wordlovergirl in humor aging obituaries 8 years ago[save this] [permalink]

Failure is not an option; it's bundled with your software

Author: Linda Howard, Source: Mr. PerfectSaved by suslyn in life humor computers 8 years ago[save this] [permalink]

Defintion of politics: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking parasites".

Author: Anonymous, Source: UnknownSaved by ImaWriterIII in politics humor anonymous latin 9 years ago[save this] [permalink]

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.

Author: Anonymous, Source: UnknownSaved by ImaWriterIII in humor proverb wise anonymous 9 years ago[save this] [permalink]

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Author: Anonymous, Source: UnknownSaved by ImaWriterIII in humor cheese bird anonymous EDS worm mouse 9 years ago[save this] [permalink]

Think how hard physics would be if particles could think.

Author: Murray Gell-Mann, Source: Nobel LaureateSaved by ImaWriterIII in humor science physics particles murraygellmann 9 years ago[save this] [permalink]

Remember to never split an infintive.
The passive voice should never be used.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
The adverb always follows the verb.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

Author: William Safire, Source: The Great Rules of WritingSaved by ImaWriterIII in humor books writing grammar english williamsafire 9 years ago[save this] [permalink]

Smile, people will wonder what you have been up to.

Author: unknown, Source: unknownSaved by jeremyhall in humor smile happy fun 10 years ago[save this] [permalink]

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